How To 'Win' with Assertive Body Language

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55% of your communication comes from your body!

  • ...Yep, and 38% comes from the tone, speed and inflection of your voice.

  • That leaves a measly 7% for what you actually say.

So you can see assertiveness (or any other form of effective communication) requires that you understand how this so-called secret language works too.

Body language image of 2 cats playing...

Thankfully, for both you and I, there are many great resources on this subject. And I've included a few of them below - e.g. some YouTube videos on assertiveness, my own thoughts about this secret language, and a few more resources.

And, of course, if you have any tips on reading body language please do share them. So, without further ado, I shall begin... (Er, would you mind uncrossing those arms first! Thanks.)



Body Talk - About Body Language

What I say...

"Body talk" - and how it works - has not always been my strong point! Let me admit that, right now. And this is so much the case so that when I was in my twenties, a good woman friend of mine at the time - Liza - bought me a book on the subject for Christmas - completely out of the blue!

She might as well have bought me some soap and pointed me in the direction of a bathroom - such was her not-so-subtle communication to me! (By the way, I shower every day - promise! Just in case you were wondering...)

As to me, I had no idea that I was clueless in the language body signs department. Still, like you, I can learn. And have done so, over the years.

So I now know the following about this oh-so-important skill:

  • How to read

    Pay attention to the eyes (do they maintain eye contact?), the hands (and what they're doing with them), and how relaxed the person is. Also, how close is this person to you? Are they mimicking you? Are they nervous?

    These are just a few things to look out for. Note: reading this language is like listening to someone. How they say something is just as important as what they say!

  • Signs

    Reading people's body signals involves interpreting those signals you get from the eyes, the mouth, the head, the hands, the face, the arms and legs etc. It's also important to look for at least 2 or 3 signs with the same meaning...

  • Understanding and interpreting

    Well this is all about interpreting the non-verbal movements we make as we communicate.

I appreciate the above is a little 'simplistic'. I will do better, soon, I promise! And, no, I do not have my fingers crossed behind my back as I write this!

Anyway, do let me know what you think about the secret language - use the contact us page! Or, if you like, we can do a secret handshake, whilst standing on one foot! I'll leave it up to you!



What YouTube has to say...

Thank goodness for YouTube, eh! You can pretty much guarantee videos on any subject - that includes the art of reading body language. I've picked 2 different examples below, that show via models/actors how these signs look in action. Take it away, YouTube...

  • Music Video

    "94% of the moves you make is enough to communicate"... That's what this music video says anyway. Worth a close watch. Turn the sound down if you're not into RnB! (Yep, that means me! Yuck!)

  • How to flirt video

    In this video, learn how to flirt with body signals and how to read body language. (And if this video puts you in the 'mood', then why not check out these love and happiness quotes - you might find something for your special person!)


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